Never...

I'll never fall for a younger guy. That's what I commented when I found out one of my best friend was dating a boy 2 years our junior. We were 15. The problem with younger boys were they looked like our little brothers. I despised her and I simply couldn't understand why she dated him. Like our school had finally ran out of boys the same age as ours or older or something. She said someday, I will understand how she felt and when the time comes, I'll definitely remember her. A word from a 15 year-old girl.

The next year, I moved to another school and there I had my very first crush. I was 16 and he was 15. Serves me right in the face. Enough said.

I'll never wear contact lenses. That's what I said when I saw Linda putting on her contacts, about 8 years ago. I was 21 then. I'll never stick my finger into my eyes. The process of inserting the contacts looked painful. While the ritual of cleansing and rinsing then soaking the lenses seemed too delicate and complicated. A person who's fit to wear contact lenses must be someone who possessed a great deal of details and patience, which I lacked.

Nobody managed to influence or talking me into wearing lenses until around 3 years ago. One of my closest friend who happened to be a guy, confessed that he's wearing contacts. We were hanging out with a fellow friend one evening when I complimented on his brown eyes. He told me he was wearing contact lenses, which I thought he wore colored contact lenses. Wow, they looked very natural. Haha. No, he said. I am wearing normal contact lenses. Can't you see them? Little that I know he was using that tactic so that I'll be gazing into his wide open eyes as he stare into mine behind those rimless glasses. I've never looked into someone like that, nor I let people see my vulnerable self like that.

It was my 26th birthday, and I gave myself a present - a pair of permanent contact lenses. My very first. I thought if he can wear them, why can't I? For goodness sake, I am girl. I should be fit to wear and take care of the lenses. I spent almost 2 hours torturing myself, convincing myself and when I finally succeeded, I just can't believe myself. I have perfect visions. Haha.
I'll never be friends with any of my ex-boyfriend. That's what I told each and every boyfriends I had. Not that I have many. "When it's over, it's all over" was kind of a rule ranked at #1 in my "Rules of Love 101". I don't wish to be friends with them because I think I can't accept the fact that we were no longer together. The thought of it simply hurts my feelings. At least that's what in my belief.

Last year I became friends with one of my exes. That's after 5 years we broke up. But we were not close to even become best friends. Just friends. That, for me was a big step.

I'll never color my hair. That's what I convinced myself everytime my alter-ego suggested that I should dye my hair. My mom will question my every move, my every decision. She will certainly ask me, what's the purpose? Tell me one good reason. I'll be tongue-tied and be the black sheep of the family. Baaaad! Hehe.

Last July (if I'm not mistaken), I colored my hair soft brown. My mom didn't say a word. My dad hardly notice. My youngest brother went berserk though. Haha. He finally gave up and ignore my hair after the third day.

I'll never gonna change. That's the least I can do right now. I've changed a lot and yet I haven't changed at all. I am completely confused now. What am I trying to say here? I'll never figure myself out.

Worthy lesson - never say never!